yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
