i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
