I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
