That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
