Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
