I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Randomize
