no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
