She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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