I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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