you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
