no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
