fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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