is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
this hospital has no fireball
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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