i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
