I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
