So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
