I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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