I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
third nipple confirmed
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
