marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
