3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
