He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
