Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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