Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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