i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
