You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
