I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I have post one night stand depression
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
