Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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