After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
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