glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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