So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
