She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize