Just fell off a train. Bad.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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