I just cut my nipple shaving
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
