I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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