Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
