How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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