so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
