before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
