it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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