I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
