i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
