well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Randomize
