I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
