I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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