I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
