Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
