Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
