with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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