We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
