you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
