I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
