Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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