What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
