So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Also, beer. Big fan.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
