i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I think people are normalizing furries
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
