Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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