She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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