remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
