So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
